So- about my last post...

Starting the cleanse didn't happen. It's going to happen on Monday.
Don't ask.
I'm planning on grocery shopping this weekend for some lower calorie and fat choices for meals this week so that I can get the most out of this cleanse. I thought about fasting for a day or 2 out of the 14- I read somewhere that it would help get even greater results. Anyone have any opinions to the contrary?

I can feel myself starting to get motivated again. I just feel disgusting. Like a total sloth. I am going to start the Couch to 5k program either over the weekend or on Monday. I need to sit down and work out the schedule with my work and school schedule. I would also like to start strength training a couple of days a week again. I'm letting my gym membership lapse at the end of the contract (which is at the end of may) because I'm probably going to be moving and I'm not quite sure where to yet- so I don't want to have to deal with breaking a contract when that happens. I think I'm going to start doing the Kettle-bell at home when that happens. I"ll just have to invest in a new DVD and probably a heavier bell.

I graduate 3 weeks from tomorrow and I am no where NEAR where I wanted to be by now. But whatevs. No point in dwelling on that. I am a completely different person mentally and emotionally than i was when I started school so I'm not as devastated by this as I thought I might be. I'm really learning to appreciate myself exactly as I am which is HUGE for me. Don't get me wrong... i still HATE being fat and could never embrace that "Big Beautiful Woman" mentality... lol I've never been able to get next to that... but I've figured out that there is a WHOLE Lot more to me than just the size of my body.

"99% of who and what you are is invisible and untouchable."

I learned this on The Secret. That quote hit me like someone chucked a sack full of bricks at my head. I've lived for so many years letting my weight and appearance tell me I wasn't worthy. So Stupid.

Anyway- I've gone of topic.... It's time to get my head in the game.  I'm not going to make any numerical goals this time. I'm just going to start living healthier and let the weight come off as it may. And keep it coming off instead of the other direction. I want to be more active. I want to be a runner. I just want to be healthy. I don't have to get down to 120 lbs or anything. Just at a healthy weight where I am comfortable in my clothes.
That's it.

Alright. It's way past my bed time. I'm exhausted. So I hope this post wasn't too all over the place and it made some kind of sense!

I'll check back soon.

<3