First the good news and excitement!

Friday April 29th, 2011 was the big day!
After 20 months of hard work and dedication- I graduated Massage Therapy School!!  I'm now officially a Massage Therapist. It will be an amazing feeling to be able to answer the question "What do you do?" with an actual title: "I'm a Massage Therapist"....instead of saying "well I work at a daycare center.... or I work in a grocery store.. etc. I have a title! I'm extremely proud of that.  Soon I can say "I'm a Licensed Massage Therapist" (Technically I will be a "Nationally Certified, State Licensed Massage Therapist" LOL I'm excited that I will have the letters "LMT" behind my name from now one! I'll be "Keri Roberts LMT!

SO EXCITING!! Now that I've graduated I have this weird excited/nervous feeling in my stomach. I will be spending the next month or so preparing to take NCE (national certification exam)and I think once i get that taken, the nervousness will lessen a bit. I'm definitely nervous about that!!  Having to re study all the bones and muscles are what are going to kill me! LOL I learned them and got A's on all my tests- but i feel like I didn't really retain any of it! It scares me! But I will study my ass off for the next month or more!

I'm going to miss all of my class mates like crazy. They've all been such a big part of my life for the last 20 months and I've seen them all at least 2 days a week, its going to be so weird not seeing them every week! Thank god for Facebook. I have all of them but one(who doesn't have a fb lol) on there so i can stay in touch.

GO ME! <3


I guess I'll update on the weight loss front. I had one amazing week on that cleanse where I lost over 6 and a half lbs... But then the weekend hit and i started missing pills and days.... so of course I ended up falling off the wagon... Once again.  UGH. So annoying.
I have another 2 week supply. So I'm gonna hit it again. I'm going to do the full 2 weeks and get my crap back on track.
That's all I'm going to say about that.

I have had another revelation that has been in the making for a while now, but I think It's starting to come into fruition. I've decided that I am going to stop waiting until I'm "Thin" to start enjoying my life. I'm so sick of being so critical of myself because I'm not at a perfect weight. I have so much more to offer. I am at a great place in life. I'm getting ready to embark on an amazing journey with this new career of mine. I deserve to be proud of this.
And I AM! Everything is always over shadowed by the fact that I still don't look the way i want to look. I'm not going to let this. I felt so good all day friday. I felt like I looked amazing when I left the house and I felt good all day. Then I saw the pictures and I instantly felt like crap about them. It's not fair to do that to myself.
I refuse to do this anymore.  So- over the next couple of weeks or months, I am going to be working on #'s 1, 9, 10,56, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 81,92, 93, & 96 of my Zero Day Project list.

Now that I've read through this list again- i see proof that this idea has been in the works for a while. I am going back to my positive thinking and the secret. eff this being miserable over one small part of who I am.

"99% of who and what you are is invisible and untouchable."

Anyhoo... yeah. That's whats going on in my neck of the woods.

I'll be back again soon with more positive words about my life!
LIFE IS GOOD!

Day 2 of the cleanse

It's Monday night. I started the cleanse on Sunday morning- so I've had 2 full days on it. I have to say I've been doing really well.

In case you are curious as to which cleanse I am doing- and You haven't seen my last video- Here is a link to it.

http://www.renewlife.com/organic-total-body-cleanse.html

The only side affect so far has been a headache... I've had it off and on since yesterday afternoon. That may be my lack of soda too. I've been addicted to Dr Pepper for months now and I haven't had any since Friday...LOL So that could be whats causing the headaches. Other than that I haven't really had any major issues with it. I have a feeling that either tomorrow or Wednesday I may be singing a whole different tune...According to anyone i've talked to about doing a cleanse - day 3 and 4 are not fun. We'll see.
I dunno if this is in my head or not- but feel lighter today. It's probably because I've been eating REAL and HEALTHY food for 2 full days now. No fast food. 32 oz Dr Peppers.... It's amazing what difference 2 days of healthy eating makes.
I fully plan on sticking this 14 days through. This cleans wasn't cheap. (for me anyway....lol) and i want to not only get my money's worth- but I want to have a nice jump off for the rest of the weight loss journey!

I've been drinking a TON of water. And I've been Peeing like a champ. LOL
Well that's my check in on the cleanse!
I will try and check in again tomorrow evening!

So far- So good! <3

I've also been siting in my room since about 8:00 cleaning my room... and by "cleaning my room"- i really mean tinkering around and doing anything and everything but cleaning it. LOL I have gotten all the laundry sorted and put away-- so I have a floor again... Tomorrow nights goal is organize the top of the dresser and every other surface in the room because for some reason i tend to just throw my stuff on top of the first surface I find with no real regard to where it actually goes. LOL My room is a cluttered disaster area most of the time.
I blame this on the fact that i have no closet and its such a small room that Ihave nowhere to really put anything...and I own entirely too much crap.
One of these days I am going to go through everything and start getting rid of it. I kind of want to start purging 99% of my belongings and clothing in order to make room for my new life once I start my new career and actually get this weight off once and for all.
anhyhoo... that's enough of my blabbering..
Hope everyone's having a great week so far!
I'll check in again soon!
<3

So- about my last post...

Starting the cleanse didn't happen. It's going to happen on Monday.
Don't ask.
I'm planning on grocery shopping this weekend for some lower calorie and fat choices for meals this week so that I can get the most out of this cleanse. I thought about fasting for a day or 2 out of the 14- I read somewhere that it would help get even greater results. Anyone have any opinions to the contrary?

I can feel myself starting to get motivated again. I just feel disgusting. Like a total sloth. I am going to start the Couch to 5k program either over the weekend or on Monday. I need to sit down and work out the schedule with my work and school schedule. I would also like to start strength training a couple of days a week again. I'm letting my gym membership lapse at the end of the contract (which is at the end of may) because I'm probably going to be moving and I'm not quite sure where to yet- so I don't want to have to deal with breaking a contract when that happens. I think I'm going to start doing the Kettle-bell at home when that happens. I"ll just have to invest in a new DVD and probably a heavier bell.

I graduate 3 weeks from tomorrow and I am no where NEAR where I wanted to be by now. But whatevs. No point in dwelling on that. I am a completely different person mentally and emotionally than i was when I started school so I'm not as devastated by this as I thought I might be. I'm really learning to appreciate myself exactly as I am which is HUGE for me. Don't get me wrong... i still HATE being fat and could never embrace that "Big Beautiful Woman" mentality... lol I've never been able to get next to that... but I've figured out that there is a WHOLE Lot more to me than just the size of my body.

"99% of who and what you are is invisible and untouchable."

I learned this on The Secret. That quote hit me like someone chucked a sack full of bricks at my head. I've lived for so many years letting my weight and appearance tell me I wasn't worthy. So Stupid.

Anyway- I've gone of topic.... It's time to get my head in the game.  I'm not going to make any numerical goals this time. I'm just going to start living healthier and let the weight come off as it may. And keep it coming off instead of the other direction. I want to be more active. I want to be a runner. I just want to be healthy. I don't have to get down to 120 lbs or anything. Just at a healthy weight where I am comfortable in my clothes.
That's it.

Alright. It's way past my bed time. I'm exhausted. So I hope this post wasn't too all over the place and it made some kind of sense!

I'll check back soon.

<3

WOW

I suck at keeping blogs.

I'm not real sure why. I even have the app on my phone to blog with! LOL Oh well. I'll just start up again! It's only April 4th!

As far as my List goes- I think i've accomplished one or 2 of those things...

#11 Start a savings account....Done. I have enough money in there to cover my National Certification exam in June and almost enough to cover my state licensing! So that's 2 things I wont have to worry about!

#39. Wear earrings every day for 1 month..... done. 


#75. Have my PC fixed.... well I attempted this one. I had it looked at and it turns out the mother board and power supply were both fried. SUCK.  But i got a new laptop instead. Now I can actually get online and have no excuse not to blog. Even though I really had no excuse before. 

now.... # 30- Do a detox/cleanse... I'm actually getting ready to start one tomorrow. I have the 14 day organic total body cleanse by Renew Life.

A friend of mine has done it and she felt great afterward. God knows I need to clean the crap out of my system. I went to the grocery store tonight to purchase a few healthier food items to get me through the rest of the week.  I wont be eating all organic or whole foods because i just cant afford to at this moment. But I will be eating much better choices.... more fruits and veggies and light on the meat portions. it's time to get myself straightened out.

I graduate from school on April 29th and I'm nowhere near where i wanted to be by now. So I'm hoping that by doing this cleanse It will throw me back on the weight loss track. I really want to get myself back there. I was feeling SO good this time last year when i was losing all that weight and looking and feeling great! i've gained back half or more of what I lost. It's so stupid.

It's completely frustrating to be back at this place and feeling like this. I don't know how i can let myself stay so off course.

So here I am, back again and starting AGAIN with weight loss. But oh well.  As long as i don't stop trying, I haven't failed! 

I will post again tomorrow about day 1 of the 14 day cleanse! :)

PS- I have no idea how to get that section off of bold. LOL I've tried everything.... I give up!